First, we only recommend taking any of these methods, recommendations on how to pee in a bottle while driving when the car is turned off and not running.
Certain situations may arise on a road trip when stopping for a bathroom break is impossible. A good example of this is that the weather outside the car is less than favourable; it may even be torrential. So you want to tactfully go and quickly relieve yourself in the privacy of your car without getting rained on and be on your way.
When I was travelling around Australia and using my car on occasions as accommodation, there would be times when I needed to go, whether it be travelling from point A to B or after settling in and suddenly needing to go at the stroke of midnight.
So the method that I’m going to discuss here is mainly from experience. It does not require any technology or expensive gadgets. However, there are some products that I will cover for both genders which you can decide to purchase if you’re planning.
Preparation for the deed
As mentioned previously, I recommend attempting to pee in a bottle while parked in a private area, so pull over wind the windows up. Do not risk your life or others just because you attempted to pee while driving.
In full disclosure, the method shared here will only work for men. That’s because I’ve only known how to do this method as a male. However, at the end of this article I will provide a few products that can aid females in relieving their bladder during a trip.
What you will need
- Non-moving car (preferably)
- Wide bottle
Moving to a sturdier location
The first step is to pull your car over to a quiet area, backstreet, rest area or car park. Obviously if you find a gas station then check into the public toilet. If you need to keep moving due to time constraints, at the very least, make sure you are not driving and have someone drive the car for you.
If you are in a vehicle, try to get in the back seat ideally, you want to already be in the back seat if someone else is driving the vehicle. Ask the driver to drive slowly and smoothly. You don’t want them driving over speed humps and being erratic. Just warn them that the smoother they drive, the less chance of getting liquids over the car.
The container is everything
So what is the best peeing bottled during this driving activity, you may be asking? Well, you want a wide mouth plastic bottle. I cannot be a can or glass. You don’t want any accidents happening that could turn your DIY pee container into a cheese grater, so plastic is the way to go.
You want the bottle opening wide enough to fit your apparatus and have a bit of room for hot air to escape. You also want a bottle that will be large enough to take one full-size sample.
I suggest something like a Gatorade bottle or a Vitamin Water bottle. In Australia, any milk bottle would suffice like an Oak bottle. Warning, it’s not a nice smell when urine and milk mix, so stick to the fruity Gatorade bottles when available.
Make sure the bottle lid is unscrewed and nearby. Try to wedge the cap somewhere so you can grab it quickly as soon as you’re done. The last thing you want is a bottle of pee, a bumpy road ahead, and no cap for the bottle.
Moving into position
Okay, so with the bottle in hand, you’re going to need to get your pants unzipped and into a position that allows for freedom of movement.
Before we continue, did I mention you need to keep your seatbelt on at all times, especially in Australia, even if you’re a passenger? Don’t risk getting a ticket just because you took your seatbelt off for a second to pee.
For this reason, this is the most awkward stage of the whole process, not the actual peeing itself; it’s the ‘positioning’ before the deed. Move your pants waist down to at least your hips obviously, you need to move your underwear down to the same position.
One thing to note is your ‘dong’ needs to be higher than your knees. This is because when you’re seated in the car, your backside (bum/glutes) tends to be positioned lower than your knees.
You may need to squirm around and spread your legs like a tripod while shifting your back against the seat of the car. Again, you will know when you’re at the right seating angle because naturally, you won’t want the liquid sea level spilling back against your crotch.
Opening the floodgates
One last check, if you’re in a car park, make sure there is no one looking, make sure there are no kids around, no grandma’s or families that you could scare during this NSFW activity.
If you’re in a moving car, kindly tell the driver to keep their eye on the road and drive carefully, warn them about what you’re about to be doing and ask them to crack open their window slightly even if it’s raining, for their benefit.
Now is the time you have been waiting for. Feel free to let it all out but in a controlled manner. You’re not in the comfort or privacy of your home, and you don’t have a wide mouth toilet bowl to aim at. So release your fluids as controlled as can be while keeping the bottle’s opening higher than the base of the bottle.
Once done, you’re going to want to shake your apparatus. You can lightly tap the base of your dong to the bottom of the bottle opening to shake off any excess and lingering drops. But, again, be careful not to shake any urine over your pants or car equipment. Remember, you are still seated.
Make sure that every last drop is out. One of the worst experiences is that you go to zip up, and you get a last-minute leak (a condition called “splatter”) because of the way you were sitting, and some trapped urine was not squeezed into the bottle.
Like it never happened
Okay, now that you have completed the side mission of how to pee in a bottle while driving, you can breathe a little, centre yourself, screw the cap on the bottle and adjust your clothes like it never happened. But, of course, you need to store the bottle away for the meantime if you’re a passenger in a moving car.
A car footwell is an ideal place. Just make sure the cap is fully screwed to minimise mess. If you’re pulled over, you can choose to pour out the contents behind a tree or take the contents to a bathroom and pour it out there. We highly suggest avoiding just tossing out the bottle. Never litter, and don’t be a tosser.
While it’s not recommended, if you were able to toss out the contents and hold on to the bottle, you can rinse and repeat the above method to pee in a bottle again. The bottle will start to smell funky over time, and you want to try and avoid getting aged pee on your pants. If you are reusing a bottle, make sure to dry the mouth of the bottle with tissue paper before you go at it again.
- See if you can find a public rest area, gas station or public toilet that is undercover. Rest areas and public bathrooms will save you the stress of peeing inside your car and you can continue driving without the cleanup.
- Keep toilet paper or baby wipes handy and nearby to cleanup and spillage or mess.
- Check out my suggested products below on relief apparatus, if you decide to spend money on a one bottle, large mouth product do the proper research.
- Keep a spare plastic bag in the passenger doors. Once you pee in a bottle, quickly screw on the cap and bag it up to avoid any spillage.
- If your a passenger ask the driver to keep the steering wheel straight, put the vehicle into cruise control and get the car in a good spot to be a smooth ride.
In the end, if you need to go and your travelling, the best solution is always to pull over and find a rest stop or a tree. But if for some unfortunate chain of events finds you stuck, you can now have this method of how to pee in a bottle while driving in your back pocket.
I’m sure every reader has come across this awkward situation of needing to go while you’re in a moving or parked vehicle.
Although how to pee in a bottle while driving may seem like an off-beat topic, it does need to be covered as it has been scientifically proven that ‘holding it in is not good for your health.
Please read on to see my recommendations on a few products that can aid in urinating while driving or on the go.
What we recommend
Unisex Urinal for Car, Toilet Urinal for Men and Women
The Awoken portable urinal is made from high-quality durable plastic materials. It is non-toxic and hygienic. It contains no harmful chemicals, no leakage, has a good seal, is environmentally friendly, and is long lasting.
Men Spill Proof Urinal Pee Bottle 2000 ML for Camping Car Travel
The mens Onedone is popular among road warriors that are constantly on the go and are stuck for time. The rubber tubing means less fidgeting around to get that perfect spot before you can start to pee.